parenting – Cyber Savvy Mom

In today’s digital world, where algorithms tailor what we see online, echo chambers are a growing concern—especially for kids and teens. These are spaces, often online, where people are only exposed to ideas and opinions they already agree with. This can limit critical thinking, increase polarization, and make it harder for kids to engage meaningfully with people who think differently than they do.

But there are ways parents can help. The key is not to shut down your child’s opinions, but to help them become more aware of how our minds work, how media shapes what we see, and how we can become better listeners and thinkers.

1. Awareness is the First Step

A good starting point is to talk about confirmation bias, a psychological tendency where people seek out or believe information that confirms what they already think. For example, if a teen believes a certain political party is always wrong, they might only watch videos or read posts that support that idea, even if opposing content is more accurate.

Helping your child recognize that everyone has biases can be empowering. There’s something called the Hawthorne effect, where simply being aware of a behavior or bias makes people more likely to change it. If your child knows they are naturally inclined to filter out opposing views, they may be more willing to pause and question their reactions instead of instinctively rejecting new information.

2. Encourage Open-Mindedness—With Practice

It’s easy to say “be open-minded,” but it takes real work to practice. As a parent, model what it looks like to engage critically with content you disagree with. That means not just dismissing something as wrong, but asking: Why do people believe this? What evidence supports it? What might they be missing?

You can even talk about real-world examples. Maybe your child saw a heated debate on social media or had a friend share something controversial. Use these moments to explore how people react when they’re challenged. Often, people double down instead of reconsidering their views. That’s normal—our brains don’t like being told we’re wrong. But it’s also a chance to slow things down and talk about how to ask questions and listen respectfully, even in disagreement.

3. Share the Science of Contact Theory

Psychologist Linda R. Tropp of UMass Amherst is a leading researcher on something called contact theory. Her research shows that when people from different backgrounds or belief systems interact under positive and respectful circumstances, they tend to see each other as more human and less as “the other.”

You don’t need a formal study to know this works. Think about sports teams, clubs, or school projects—when kids work together with someone they wouldn’t normally hang out with, their assumptions often shift. Parents can encourage this kind of positive contact by supporting inclusive activities, volunteering, or even just talking about people with differing views in more empathetic, less judgmental ways.

4. Remember—We’re All Human

The biggest reminder you can give your child is this: we’re all human. That sounds simple, but in the heat of an online argument or a group chat debate, it’s easy to forget. Emotions take over. We get defensive, and we forget that the person on the other side isn’t a villain—they’re just someone with a different story, shaped by different experiences.

Even the fact that contact theory works is proof that we sometimes forget this. But when we slow down and actually connect, we’re more likely to understand, or at least respect, other viewpoints.

5. Make Curiosity a Habit

Finally, teach your kids that being curious is stronger than being right. The communities they’re a part of—at school, online, or in their friend groups—should encourage asking questions, not just repeating opinions. If your child sees a piece of content they strongly disagree with, challenge them to engage with the evidence, not just dismiss it out of hand.

Ask questions like:

“What’s the source of this information?”
“Is there another perspective on this?”
“What might be missing?”

These questions can open up conversations that help kids break out of their echo chambers—not by forcing them to change their views, but by giving them the tools to think more deeply.

Final Thoughts

Helping your child break out of echo chambers doesn’t mean changing their beliefs. It means guiding them to think critically, engage respectfully, and remember the shared humanity behind every opinion. In a world full of noise, that kind of mindset is more valuable than ever.

Too young for Facebook? — How young is too young for Facebook? The rules say no one under 13, but many parents seem to disagree

Facebook says you need to be 13 to have an account, but – rules be damned!! Many 11 and 12 year-olds are already using the social network, and, here’s a surprising little tidbit: Their parents are helping them create the account!

This is according to research out this month from the Internet journal First Monday. Researchers polled 1,007 parents of children between the ages of 10 and 14 about how they feel with regard to Internet-age restrictions.

Among their findings:

– Parents of 13- and 14-year-olds said, on average, their child joined Facebook at age 12.
– More than half of the parents of 12-year-olds said their child had a Facebook account; 82 percent of those parents knew when their child signed up; 76 percent assisted their 12-year-old in creating the account.
– More than three-quarters of parents said it was acceptable for their child to violate minimum-age restrictions on online services.

This goes against rules created by the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), legislation passed several years ago which seeks to empower parents by requiring commercial Web site operators to obtain parental consent before collecting data from children under 13. But apparently, many parents with kids under 13 think their children can handle themselves on Facebook and are actually letting them fudge their birthdate in order to create a profile.

The authors of this study point out that many parents know, and are even enabling, their kids to get on Facebook prior to the age of 13. They say things like “all of my daughter’s friends are already on Facebook.”

I’ll let you read the study yourself to draw your own conclusions about whether or not you think kids under 13 should be on Facebook. But let me weigh in with my opinion, as your friendly Cyber Savvy Mom.

If you think your child is ready to use Facebook at an age that is younger than 13, that is your opinion, and I don’t think it is right or wrong. You know what your child is capable of and should act accordingly.

But, keep in mind the risks that exist once your child is on Facebook; where they will share information about themselves with other “friends” in their network. They will share photos, videos, thoughts, at times even their location. And there are no guarantees each “friend” will be who they say they are. Fake profiles are created all the time on Facebook. There are also scams all over the network that can trap unsuspecting members. Children would be very vulnerable to falling into some of these traps. Check out my list of scams to recognize the common traps.

That said, there are several steps I think parents need to take before allowing their kid, regardless of age, to create a profile on any site. Here are my basic recommended steps to encourage secure behavior on Facebook.

1.) Use the network yourself: If you are familiar with the inner workings of Facebook and Twitter, you are more able to know what can go on, what mistakes can be made, what information kind of can be shared, and give advice based on first-hand knowledge. You run less of a risk of seemingly like the “lame parent” who “just doesn’t get it” if you are using the networks yourself.

2.) Insist they give you their password, check it regularly: It is one thing to tell them you need to have their password. That’s a great first step. But then you need to do regularly, random check ins with to ensure that the one they gave you is still the actual password. If they have changed it without consulting you, that is grounds for losing computer privileges.

3.) Keep computer use to common areas of the home: Children are more likely to engage in unsafe and questionable behaviors and conversations online when they are along. Computer use, particularly online activity, needs to take place in an area where the entire family is typically located.

4.) Have regular conversations: Talk with your child openly and regularly about issues such as cyber bullying, safe and responsible computer use and don’t be afraid to speak frankly about the type of people that can lurk on social networks, interactive games and chat boards looking for kids to target. Knowledge is power. You’re not trying to scare them, but they also need to be prepared for how to react if they are manipulated online by someone, or bullied by another peer.

Tag: parenting

How Parents Can Help Kids Navigate Echo Chambers